Celebrity Marry-Shag-Throw Off A Cliff

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Celebrity Marry-Shag-Throw Off A Cliff

by Cocktailer @ 20/08/07 – 10:53:58

Yes! It's the much sought-after celeb version of a game that I spent all yesterday afternoon playing. And much fun it was too.

So... of those listed here, who would you marry, or shag, or throw off a cliff? No, there aren't any other choices. Pick one.

1. Jonathan Ross (Juzzy, I know what you're gonna do)
2. Angelina Jolie
3. Britney Spears (looking forward to seeing if anyone will do anything BUT throw her off a cliff)
4. Keira Knightley
5. Matt Damon
6. Jeremy Clarkson
7. Dame Judy Dench
8. Rupert Everett
9. Madonna
10. Ricky Gervais
11. Sigourney Weaver
12. Eddie Izzard
13. Cate Blanchett
14. Lenny Henry
15. Pete Docherty
16. Tara Banks
17. Steve Coogan
18. Gregory Peck
19. Nicole Kidman
20. JK Rowling.
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10 Comments to Celebrity Marry-Shag-Throw Off A Cliff

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- timekillingkid
- 20/08/07 @ 11:53:54
Can the choices be combined? Is it possible in your wee game to shag, marry then throw someone off a cliff?
- - Cocktailer
  - 20/08/07 @ 11:55:45
  A game isn't a game without rules. So no.
  
  [But actually, yes.]
  - - timekillingkid
    - 21/08/07 @ 13:27:12
    You remind me of the stickler who wouldn't let me have 'zen' in a game of Scrabble because it wasn't in the Scrabble dictionary they were using.
    
    1. Jonathan Ross
    For crawling up Morrisey’s ass on his chatshow then he has to go over the cliff.
    
    2. Angelina Jolie
    If I married her, based on her hectic adoption schedule, I might wake up and find out I’m father to some African state, and I don’t fancy a custody battle over the Congo when we get divorced. I’d shag her, but I imagine sex with her is like being on a rollercoaster when the safety bar breaks loose.
    
    3. Britney Spears
    I’d shag her, as long as she wasn’t bald. Or blonde. I can imagine she’s the type who shags in club toilets and then goes back out on the dancefloor without her underwear on. She'd fit in well in south Wales.
    
    4. Keira Knightley
    I’d have to shag ol’ Ikeara Knightley. As the poor love had to do love scenes with that big girl’s blouse Orloondo Bland then she needs the loving of a real man for a while.
    
    5. Matt Damon
    Marry him just so I could say “Matt Damon!” (a la Team America) to him every day.
    
    6. Jeremy Clarkson
    I wouldn’t throw him off a cliff but have him driven over one.
    
    7. Dame Judy Dench
    If I married her then at least I know my mother would have approved of one of my girlfriends.
    
    8. Rupert Everett
    I’d get little packets of mayonnaise, squirt them near the edge of the cliff and let the little narcissist slip on them and tumble head first over the cliff. A little poetic justice there.
    
    9. Madonna
    Marry her. In light of my recent attempts at playing guitar then she’d know what it’s like to hear my excruciating attempts at being musical.
    
    10. Ricky Gervais
    Cliff. His great mate Wossy’s corpse will be down there to keep him company.
    
    11. Sigourney Weaver
    Ever since the bed-levitating in Ghostbusters then it has to be sex, although as with Britney then preferably not during her bald phases.
    
    12. Eddie Izzard
    Cliff. Probably not the first time he’s died on his ass based on his woeful attempts at comedy.
    
    13. Cate Blanchett
    I have a rule that if CB is in a film then it would be a good idea to avoid it. The cliff for thee.
    
    14. Lenny Henry
    The cliff. No longer funny and married to Dawn French – surely it counts as doing him a favour.
    
    15. Pete Doherty
    I’d marry him as I’d no longer have to worry about getting my hands on quality drugs at short notice. Plus I'd buy him toothpaste and a brush.
    
    16. Tara Banks
    I have no idea who she is, but anyone called Tara deserve to go over the cliff.
    
    17. Steve Coogan
    The cliff. Knowing me TKK, Knowing you Steve Coogan – ahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
    
    18. Gregory Peck
    Marry him. I could play the Ingrid Bergman role from Spellbound.
    
    19. Nicole Kidman
    Marry her. My kid sister is taller than me so I’ve got used to not having an ego thing about women over 5 foot 9. I think she’d quite like that.
    
    20. JK Rowling.
    Marry her. That why I could find out what happens in Harry Potter without having to read the books.
    - - Cocktailer
      - 21/08/07 @ 13:31:57
      You are the cat's pyjamas for providing such an extensive, considered and palatable answer. I think I want to marry you and shag you and then throw you off the cliff [for throwing Wossy over - he's my soft-spot guy].
      - timekillingkid
        
        21/08/07 @ 13:35:24
        
        You should invite me to your next dinner party. Not only do I always bring a decent bottle of vino but I'm happy to dry (though not put away or you'll end up with cups tucked away under the sink).
        
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        Cocktailer
        
        21/08/07 @ 16:04:22
        
        You offered to help in the kitchen? Without prompting or cajoling? Geez, you can put the cups where the hell you like mate.
        
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    - - Cocktailer
      - 21/08/07 @ 13:34:16
      Tara Banks, by the way, is the ex-supermodel who hosts 'America's Next Top Model'. She's black and thinks she's Oprah. She too has launched a chat show, during which she can show people just how dumb she is.
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- Chyna_Doll
- 22/08/07 @ 00:53:03
I'd marry Matt Damon as he seems like a good father to his child and faitful from what I know although I don't fancy him at all.

I'd shag Rupert Everett and I don't care if he's gay!!!

Amd I'd throw Britney off a cliff as I don't like her and she seems odd in these later years!
- - Cocktailer
  - 22/08/07 @ 01:04:33
  All sensible responses, obviously.
  
  ;-)
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- Jemma (Visitor)
- 11/03/09 @ 12:13:28
I'd shag Rupert because I'd love to have straight sex with a gay guy
I'd marry Lenny Henry because I want to marry a funny person and live with them forever
And I'd throw Jon Ross off a cliff - no prizes for guessing why.
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Celebrity Marry-Shag-Throw Off A Cliff

10 Comments to Celebrity Marry-Shag-Throw Off A Cliff

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